Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
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I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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