Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize