Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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