..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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