butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
