so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She announced her abortion via fbk
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
