just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
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