HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
