So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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