Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
