so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
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