Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
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Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
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Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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