...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
