You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
