4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
