omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Randomize
