If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
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