I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
