you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
it was like eating out sand paper
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Randomize
