i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
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