he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
