Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
