every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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