Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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