why didn't you poke me back
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
