that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
