I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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