I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
Randomize
