i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
