John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
