oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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