Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
