it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
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