If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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