There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Randomize
