so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
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