M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
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