i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
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