kristin has been a bad kristin
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
God doesn't care if you're a paramedic, you can't do that to someones cat and still get into heaven
Randomize
