Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
