I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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