Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
