Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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