Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
