I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
did you just send me my own nude
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
