I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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