are you still at the devil's house?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
