Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Randomize
