Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Randomize