I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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