last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
