actually, I'm a sock model
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Randomize
