Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
