My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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