I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
