dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Randomize
