come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Randomize
